i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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