Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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