His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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