Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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