Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize