is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize