I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
