They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
