is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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