Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
