you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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