Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
