I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
