how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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