If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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