"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
