I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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