Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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