Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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