Christians are straight up FREAKS
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
