I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
