ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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