Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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