I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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