we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
