I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize