I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize