is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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