You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
