I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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