I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
