OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Mom said you looked used
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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