I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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