OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
