Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
