I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
