halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
