Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize