She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize