Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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