wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
