Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
the condom got lost in my hair
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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