Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
