U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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