So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
