I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
