apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
