I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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