I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
