Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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