so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
