Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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