Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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