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lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Green mimosas i think yes
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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