it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
