whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
