only if we run a train.
done.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
