She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
