I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
