I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
