handjob tips. give me some.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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