pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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