clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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