You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
