Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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