this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
my penis made a compromise with my morals
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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