No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
