Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
